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An Open Conversation on a Difficult Topic: Infertility

February 20, 2013

Shh… There’s a topic that seems to be a secret or is so passe that it’s just not discussed openly and in the public. It’s the topic of fertility and how it can be difficult to get pregnant. It’s crazy and I know that I’m not the only woman in her early 30’s that I know that is actively trying to get pregnant. This is my attempt at a starting a conversation… I’m struggling with infertility.

A handful of individuals got to experience my public Facebook breakdown in December. Albeit embarassing I just couldn’t keep it in any longer… we’ve been trying to get pregnant for the last 3 years without success. Every time I logged onto Facebook I swear I saw another person I knew announcing that they were pregnant or posting pictures of their newborn baby(ies). It was tearing at my heart that I want a baby so badly and the timing that God has chosen doesn’t seem to match the timing I have in mind. It’s been even more difficult with parents and grandparents constantly asking you when you’re going to start having a family…

“Did you hear that **fill in blank here with cousin, sister, nephew/niece, next door neighbors kid, bestfriends daughter** is having a baby. Boy it would be nice if you had one too… When are you going to have a baby.”

As if we weren’t trying. As if I’m not so much of a data nerd that I’ve been keeping a diary for the last 2 1/2 years of everything happening with my body relating to fertility and scheduling “Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow” on our shared family calendar. TMI– my apologies, but it’s true. During my breakdown on Facebook I did get notes from a handful of other women I know, also in their 30’s who are silently struggling with getting pregnant.

The Silent Struggle

It made me stop and pause and wonder how many other women that I know are in the same situation. How many women are also silently struggling? I wish I could find a small group of women who are struggling similarly to me as well as a handful of women who have been able to overcome to help others like myself deal with the fact that we’re trying to get pregnant but can’t. Someone to come along side and tell me how they dealt with it and what worked/didn’t to help them finally get pregnant.

So what is it that is soooo bad that people don’t want to talk about infertility?
Is it that much more of an issue now in 2010’s then it was 20, 30, or even 40 years ago? Is it something that only “women of a certain age” that work full time (i.e. 30’s) struggle with?
Or is that so many people are ashamed of the fact that they are trying to get pregnant and they can’t that they just don’t want to talk about it?

I’m talking about it because I’m struggling. Every month when my period comes it comes with a sadness that we have to wait and try again. That this isn’t the time and that someday hopefully soon, it will be our time. I hope and pray that if you are also struggling with trying to get pregnant that God answer your prayers and that you’ll find strength and hope. I need strength…I need a small group that is a part of my life that can share in my struggles as well as my success.

What about you?


From → Personal

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