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It’s been a month but who other than me is counting

April 22, 2015

its officially one month post DNC and I wish that I could say I was fully at ease. I’ve gotten better at crying over the loss and I think I might have made it almost a business week without crying at some point isn’t the day. I’ll take the little wins right now.

I think it hit me the hardest last night when doing the final edits on a work related slide deck. I had a slide that I had prepared in early March that referencd my bump and I lost it in the hotel room. The great news is that I’ve gotten good with makeup so I’m 99%certain that no one other than me knew that cried for hours on end last night.

I’m struggling because I don’t want the hurt to go away and pretend the last month wasn’t real, but between work and coping I haven’t figured it all out yet. I just want that perfectly healthy baby that all the genetic testing told me we had. 

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